Blog post

Why You Shouldn’t Make a New Year’s Resolution

With the holidays fading faster than that pan of mom’s homemade gooey buns, we’re suddenly faced with the impending New Year. Some people greet this symbolic beginning with open arms, ready to take on new challenges and opportunities. Others are a little more tempted to say something along the lines of, “what’s f-in next”, followed by a particularly aggressive eye roll. However you see it, the New Year is coming. And with it, a whole slew of New Year’s resolutions that are about to be made. Endless counts of “This year I’m going to ______” on the tips of our tongues.

Go ahead, fill in your personal blank.

Now here’s the problem we have with the New Year’s resolution. They’re crap. Total, complete, and utter crap. They literally set us up for failure. Resolutions are made with such a sense of finality and confinement, that they lead us straight to self destruction.

new year's resolution

Don’t get us wrong. We LOVE self improvement. We think it’s fan-freaking-tastic. Ben and I wholeheartedly believe everyone is capable of ANY change they want to make in their lives. That is one of the most beautiful things about this world we live in. The endless opportunities for better yourself.

Now the problem with a New Year’s resolution is that they are these huge lofty goals that we crave SO badly. Every single one of them is made with the sincere belief that this decision will change our lives for the better. The whole reason we’re making a resolution is because we’re unhappy or unsatisfied with some part of our lives. And we want to change it.

new year's resolution

So, we resolve to do it. We make lists, we make promises, we sign up for memberships and plans, and are jazzed as hell. Then, three weeks later, our lives look exactly the same it did before our mile long New Year’s resolution list ever existed. And then, on top of feeling like total sh*t for not being able to follow through, we feel even worse about ourselves than when we started.

Do we think that you shouldn’t do anything then? No. Absolutely not. Because to be quite honest, this symbolic new beginning that January 1st brings in should be taken full advantage of. It might just be a date on the calendar, but apparently it’s got some sort of mystic powers that give most people a total kick in the rear end and gets them motivated to change.

So yes, take advantage of this moment people. Because it’s not going to last forever. In fact, it probably won’t last long at all. BUT, this is the perfect time to take a good hard look at your life and decide, is this what I want? Am I happy? Seriously. Close your eyes and picture what your life would look like if you were HAPPY. If you felt fulfilled and free and sh*t rainbows every 6 seconds (okay, that got slightly out of hand, but you know what we mean).

new year's resolution

Now if what you just pictured doesn’t line up with your current life, decide, what needs to change? Then, instead of writing down 26 things you’re ‘going to change’, envision HOW would you get there? What little changes could you make? Is you goal health oriented? Great. Don’t say that you’re going to lose 20 lbs in 6 months. Instead, picture what you’d be doing if you were healthy and fit. What’s missing that you don’t have? Pick a few small tweaks to make, and see where that leads you.

Are you more looking at self-improvement? Being happier? What are you picturing when you see yourself happy? If quitting that soul sucking job you’re at is at the top of the list of things NOT in your picture, then start taking small steps to get yourself somewhere else. It’s not about the final goal, like a resolution would have you think. Instead, it’s about getting yourself there. HOW are you going to do that?

The bottom line is that instead of setting these enormous goals for yourself, envision first what you WANT your life to look like. Then, focus on the small steps that will eventually lead you there. Taking a million baby steps WILL get you to where you want to be.

So this year, instead of making a New Year’s resolution that’ll eventually get left in the dust, resolve to change your own damn life. You don’t need it to be the first day of the year to do that. Nor do you need to put a label on whatever it is that you want to change. Make the decision, and take the steps. It’s not the end game, it’s the journey.

This is your year dreamers.

Make it look exactly the way you want it to. 

58 Comments

  • The pink pineapple

    December 30, 2017 at 5:10 am

    Thank you for your advice,have a HAPPY new year eve
    http://thepinkpineappleblog.blogspot.com/2017/12/bye-bye-2017.html

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      December 31, 2017 at 12:15 am

      Thank you! You too!

  • Kassy

    December 30, 2017 at 7:58 am

    Finding the core of what you want is so important to make a substantial commitment to what you wish to improve. I like the fact that you mentioned to ‘picture what you’d be doing if you were healthy and fit’. I think it can go hand in hand with a lot of things. You can easily get stuck in the thinking of ‘I can’t do this until I am this or that’. I hope you have a great 2018!

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      December 31, 2017 at 12:16 am

      Yes! Kassy you put it so perfectly. We can do everything we want right NOW, as we are! Progress and change are just those happy side effects. You have an amazing year too!

  • jordan @ dancing for donuts

    December 30, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    you guys always NAIL it on the head. like literally could not agree more with alllllll of this!!! i always like to start the year with my goals and dreams in mind, but i look at it more like a fresh start instead of a time to make 10 crazy resolutions that i’ll probably forget about by february. i’m going to do a focus word (or two) this year, which is soooo much easier to remember, but also is more of just an all-encompassing thought i want to work on maintaining throughout the year, if that makes sense! i’d rather start the year fresh and with a sort of lifestyle change in mind 🙂

    Happy New Year!!!!!

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      December 31, 2017 at 12:17 am

      We LOVE that idea! We’re 100% about being stoked on the New Year too. A focus word is a PERFECT way to keep your goals in mind and stay focused, without making it restricting. Girl, you’re the best! Here we come 2018!

  • Britney

    December 31, 2017 at 5:56 am

    I’ve actually never been one to make New Years Resolutions. If I feel I want to change something in my life or set a goal, I will do so at any point in the year.

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      December 31, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      We love that attitude Britney! Why wait a whole year to change something you want to?!

  • Emily

    December 31, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    I agree with this! I do though think I’m like the 1% of people who take new year’s resolutions very seriously, and if I make a ‘new year’s resolution’ I literally ALWAYS follow through. I think it’s a terrible name for it though! This year I am all about setting small goals that contribute to a larger goal. Hope you two have a fabulous new year!!

    -Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      December 31, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      That’s awesome Emily! We completely agree that resolutions DO work for some people, but it’s a slippery slope for most of us! We love the idea of setting smaller goals that get you to a bigger goal. That’s a great way to do it!

  • Amy

    December 31, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    I always make new year goals, except this year I’ve stuck to manageable things. I think challenging yourself is fine, but sometimes I set goals which are way too much, when smaller steps would be much more successful. Plus, I’m allowing myself to change my goals this year if they don’t work for me, without any pressure. There’s no point feeling bad about one thing you can’t do because you set it at the beginning of the year!

    Happy New Year!

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 12:09 am

      We love that you use the word goals instead of resolutions! It makes it so much more achievable and WAY less stressful. Especially since you leave yours open to modification as your life changes. That’s so key. You have a great outlook on it Amy!

  • Pauline

    January 1, 2018 at 10:00 am

    I love your attitude towards New Years Resolutions! This is definitely the attitude to take to make sure that you hit your goals and proceed successfully.

    I especially loved this:”What little changes could you make? Is you goal health oriented? Great. Don’t say that you’re going to lose 20 lbs in 6 months. Instead, picture what you’d be doing if you were healthy and fit.” When I tried to get into fitness and health before, I was so obsessed with saying I will lose x amount in 6 months etc and just demotivated myself. Nowadays, I take a more positive health-oriented approach to fitness and I’ve never been happier.

    Happy New year lovely!

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:15 pm

      Thanks Pauline! And that’s exactly the way to make it stick – focusing on all the positive it’s bringing to your life, and how much better your health it. You look amazing and you’re so happy too! That’s honestly all the proof you need. Let’s get it this year!

  • Nevena Krstic

    January 1, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    I’m pretty sure I’ve been recycling the same resolutions for years and I still haven’t done them XD Happy New Year lovely! 🙂 xx

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      Ah haha isn’t that how it works though?! Little changes and switching your philosophy are the way to go!

  • Courtney Hardy

    January 1, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    I totally agree with you. I feel like if you want a change you should do it now instead of at new years.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      Yes! Change can happen any time WE choose it to happen :).

  • Deborah Brooks

    January 1, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    I agree with you! new year’s is not always the best time to try to make sweeping changes. I am for mini goals each week to helps us get to where we would like to be to be happy.

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:19 pm

      We love that! Mini goals are definitely the way to go because before you know it, you’ve tackled a huge change you’ve been wanting to make for forever. Happy New Year!

  • mimi

    January 1, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    Totally agree with you

    https://teeeparty.com/

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:19 pm

      Thanks Mimi!

  • Nancy

    January 1, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    You have a point about New Year’s resolutions. It’s something that we can potentially limit ourselves to. I totally agree with the “how”. Small steps make a big difference! This is something that definitely made me think a little. E.g. I want to spend less money this year but the how factor is very important. Also, it isn’t the end of the world if it isn’t achieved. Things count when you make an effort and people shouldn’t suffer when they want to make positive changes!

    Hope you will have a wonderful 2018! I appreciate your encouraging words 🙂

    exquisitely.me

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:21 pm

      I LOVE the way you put that – ‘people shouldn’t suffer when they want to make a positive change’. That’s EXACTLY how we feel! Change should be empowering and uplifting, not something that beats you down! That’s the perfect attitude to have Nancy. Happy New Year!

  • Carly

    January 1, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    I absolutely love this post! I’ve feel the same way about New Year’s resolutions, but I seem to be in the minority. Your point on setting goals and self improvement with small steps is much more reasonable than these crazy NYE resolutions everyone sets…..

    Happy New Years!
    Carly at A Modern Mom Blog

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Thank you Carly! We think small steps are so overlooked these days! We all get too focused on the end goal, but it’s really all about HOW we get ourselves there. We can’t wait to see what the New Year brings us all! Especially with your little ones coming soon!

  • Ashley

    January 1, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    Omg I love love this so much babe!! You are sooo right!!! This so much better. There’s something about writing things down isn’t it! Scott and I started our dream book when we got together. Looking back we have crossed off so many things on our list without even trying. You really have to manifest these things into your life! Happy new year beautiful!! Wishing you guys an epic and happy 2018!!!!

    xxx

    Ashley

    http://www.missgunner.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 1, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      We LOVE the idea of a dream book! Ben writes so much stuff down, he’s all about that. And focusing on what you want to happen and what you want your life to look like really does bring it about. Wishing YOU both an incredible year! It’s going to be one for the books!

  • Brandy

    January 2, 2018 at 2:30 am

    YES YES YES!!!
    I haven’t made New Years resolutions in years for these exact reasons. I make “Goals”, and “Would Like To’s” rather than “I Will’s”.

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 3:13 am

      Yes! That’s exactly how we feel too. Because let’s be honest, ultimatums don’t usually end up being successful, but goals and dreams are!

  • Kelsey!

    January 2, 2018 at 3:00 am

    Wow, this post was intense. But I get what you’re saying. I haven’t set any huge goals for myself this year. I just want to grow and understand myself more.

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 3:13 am

      We’re so glad you got that Kelsey! And we LOVE that goal. Honestly, self understanding is such a huge factor in supporting other goals. You’ve got this!

  • Laura Mitbrodt

    January 2, 2018 at 6:21 am

    I never make resolutions but instead I just have goals throughout the year
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 5:29 pm

      We think that’s a perfect approach! Ben does the same thing. Just changing the label of it switches the whole dynamic!

  • Sheena Sy Gonzales

    January 2, 2018 at 7:57 am

    That’s a new perspective on the concept of new year/new beginnings. Tho i must admit that I kind of agree with you. It’s definitely about just doing what you want to do without the pressure of just having to do it because you set a goal for yourself.

    Sheena | http://sheenalovessunsets.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Exactly! The word resolution is so finite that we forget about the actual process of getting ourselves there. It’s slow and steady!

  • Gemma

    January 2, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    Such a good post! I rarely make resolutions but if I do it’s something small like a tweak to my life and style rather than a major change.

    Gemma x
    http://www.jacquardflower.uk

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Thanks Gemma! And that’s definitely the way to go. All of those little changes really add up!

  • wendee

    January 2, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    I stopped making new year’s resolution in high school. I realised I never follow through whatever it is.
    The Glossychic

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 5:31 pm

      Haha you’re lucky you figured it out so quickly! We were stuck in the resolution rut long past high school!

  • Kuks

    January 2, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    these are really good reasons not to make a resolution
    Wonder Cottage

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 2, 2018 at 5:31 pm

      Thank you!

  • Gellie

    January 3, 2018 at 1:33 am

    This is such a great read!

    I personally don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. My coach at the gym asked me why I decided to start working out on a December (when people usually make excuses for having unhealthy habits because of the holidays) and I simply told him, “if not now, when?” I believe that if we manage to dig deep as to what our real goal is, we can take that small step forward to be able to start our journey. I only found the motivation to work out and live a healthier lifestyle when I came to realize that my goal is to be stronger and healthier. Since my husband loves hiking, I’d want to be able to take those adventures with him. You guys are one of my fitspirations! 🙂

    xoxo,
    Gelleesh.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 3, 2018 at 1:37 am

      YES! Gellie EVERYTHING about this comment was so perfect! “If not now, when?” – we love that SO much because it’s so true! Life is way too short to wait to make these changes. Especially when it’s coming from such a genuine desire to better yourself. Your husband is such a lucky man to have someone like you!

  • jane

    January 3, 2018 at 5:44 am

    I definitely agree with this.
    Sometimes If we commit to do something that failed to do in the end, it makes us depress about it.
    I have my new years reso this year but this is just refresher to things I am actually doing, just to remind me always.

    Happy New Year!
    Let’s start the year right.

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 3, 2018 at 5:35 pm

      It’s so true Jane. A refresher is always a good idea and definitely makes you more successful. It’s going to be a great year!

  • Heather Rowland

    January 3, 2018 at 8:26 am

    This is undoubtedly the best post I’ve read in 2018! Thank you so much for shattering the false image of New Year’s resolutions – it’s so uplifting to find other people who also don’t believe in them. Fab post!

    Heather xx
    https://www.hefafa.me.uk

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 3, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      THANK YOU Heather! That means so much to us, honestly!

  • Amy-Anne Williams

    January 3, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    This is all so true. Several years back I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and after being on strong medication for a couple years I decided to take care of myself with diet. The past few months at university have meant that I’ve slacked on my diet and exercise and in turn have become relatively ill again. I want to live a long, happy, healthy life full of adventure, and so this year I’m going to invest more in my own health and take care of myself. It’s not a resolution, it’s a way of living!

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 3, 2018 at 5:37 pm

      YES! That’s such a perfect way to put it Amy “it’s not a resolution, it’s a way of living”. We’re so glad to hear that your main focus will be on your health. You are an inspiration!

  • Rachel

    January 3, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    Awesome post, I totally agree with the sentiment. I definitely make New Year’s resolutions, but I make them purposely vague and goal-oriented, so that I can change what I’m doing to meet my goals when needed. What you think you need to do to hit your goal might not be what you actually need, and the only way to find out what you should be doing to improve your life is trial and error. Sticking to a rigid set of tasks is not helpful for that!

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 3, 2018 at 5:38 pm

      Exactly! Trial and error is always going to be the path, and we’re always going to fail along the way. We’ve got to embrace that!

  • Hannah

    January 3, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    This is such a fab post! I’ve tried to set myself realistic goals for this year, as I never set any last year and I feel like I was just drifting by doing nothing, so here’s hoping this helps!xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 4, 2018 at 4:18 am

      Thank you Hannah! Setting realistic goals is exactly the way to go. It keeps you focused on the process without getting overwhelmed by the end game!

  • the adventurer

    January 7, 2018 at 12:14 am

    I loved reading this! I don’t think I’ve ever stuck to a New Years resolution so I gave up on them a while back. But I like how you write about evaluating how you feel and if you are happy. It is true that at the beginning of a new year you have the time to reflect more than you would in the middle of the year and so use this to your advantage =o)

    https://dreamofadventures.com/

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 7, 2018 at 10:34 pm

      Thank you! And we agree. Instead of blindly making a resolution, it’s so much more beneficial to reflect on where you’re at, and decide where you want to be. That helps guide your actions and intentions, and paves the way!

  • Zhanna

    January 8, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Agreed! Small things are what makes the difference. For me, New Year’s resolutions or rather New Year’s goals are simply plans with small steps. I don’t consider New Year as a starting point to change myself completely, to start a new life, etc. These grandiose plans will eventually (and most of the time by January 15) come to their end and leave you feeling like a complete failure. Plans with steps and actions that I am committed to is what I mean by New Year’s goals. And I am definitely going for them. 🙂

    http://www.morethandestination.com

    1. Mile High Dreamers

      January 9, 2018 at 3:41 am

      You completely get us Zhanna! It’s so much more about planning the process to get you where you want to be, rather than just looking at the end goal!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Post Next Post